Shep Diggity Speaks Again

By Alex Wendt

A couple of weeks ago, you probably read my column about the idiots at DMB shows who make a point of acting up and ruining what should be a good concert experience for everyone at the show. Back when I wrote this, I asked you all to write me with your comments, opinions, and possible solutions for this situation. Your responses? Ben (x96dunn@aol.com) wrote, "...i agree with your editorial completely. the crowds have been a total bummer. the guys with the laser pointers, give me a break. during the deer creek shows, two laser pointers were on dave at the same time."

Tell me about it. This is way too dumb. However, it ties in to the "people like pretty lights" theory. Go to a DMB show and watch what happens when they shine bright lights on the crowd, or light up Carter's drum set. People scream and jump around. If I was to shine a flashlight in your face, you might do the same thing. Hard to say. Anyways, I digress.

Bunnyfooo@aol.com wrote, "Not too long ago I went to a Van Halen concert here in atlanta and there were drunk people all over dancing and acting like fools. I'm thinking "what the hell?" Yes it was an older kinda crowd show, but still. You dont have to embarrass yourself to have a good time. Maybe they should put a drinking ban on the shows. I know lotsa people like to drink and have a good time, I have nothing against that. But like you said most of the time it's the dumbass that's under the influence of something."

A good point. Personally, I wouldn't want to see something like that happen, but that's because I like to drink beers at a concert and have a good time. Then again, I don't get drunk, climb on Bobo's shoulders and flash the crowd.

You sick jerks. Don't even ask me.

Addressing the problem of concerts getting raucous to the point of injury, Waldo (waldo@nancies.org) wrote, "The performers, both opening and DMB, can't be shy about telling people to calm down, move back, and permit a little breathing every now and again. My girlfriend would be able to work normally now if, at Roanoke, Bruce Hornsby had been willing to say "Hey, everybody, calm down. People are getting hurt. Just take a big step backwards." They Might Be Giants do that, and it's pretty effective."

I've seen TMBG do that up here in Rochester. Quoting the illustrious John Flansburgh (the one with the glasses), "Physically, you're a little further away, but spiritually, you're a whole lot closer." I agree completely with Waldo. Unfortunately, the term that comes to mind is "babysit". The band shouldn't have to do it, but it's becoming a responsibility that may very well rest on their shoulders. A few words from Dave should do it. A few words from Boyd, or one of the other members that you never hear, and I guarantee it'd be all the more effective.

A couple of folks questioned the lax security measures. From Carrie (lyrickat@hotmail.com): "Heightening security... I could have gotten an UZI in there if i wanted (i didn't, just a camera)... Some kids that were my age, 18, had a quart of vodka. Not just like a half pint, a quart. They were 5 feet away from a security officer and what happened? Nothing."

See, I like getting a buzz on, but not to the point of bringing in a QUART OF VODKA. These are the same folks that advocate A POUND OF WEED. Good lord. And what happens when you get that wrecked? Brett (brkirby@geocities.com) tells the tale of Roanoke where "...there was even a girl next to me who was hit in the head with a coke bottle full of urine. I personally feel sorry for the band to have to put up with this bullshit."

Phyllis (renov8it@pilot.infi.net) has an answer to this: "Gestapo like searches for bottles, drugs and weapons should take place. It is unfortunate that the great majority have to endure those searches, but personal safety is at stake. And if attendees are already too wasted to function, they should cool their heels outside of the concert."

Phyllis also wanted every show to be at the VA Beach GTE Amphitheatre. Nice try, ha ha. Actually, I wouldn't mind it; that was an excellent venue, and I didn't personally see anyone acting like an idiot. But then again, it's a big place, I can't catch everything.

So what's the answer to the problem? How does one go about correcting these errors? We know that usually it's people abusing alcohol and drugs that act like imbeciles. And we know that people bring in said items, getting past security with no problems. So is security the problem? It's a possibility.

I don't expect things to get corrected with one column from me. I expect the problem to get ADDRESSED, if anything. If concerts have to become alcohol-free in order to curb the problem, so be it. I know that after two and a half hours without alcohol, I'll still be breathing.

Hopefully this'll be read by someone who has some sort of ability to do something. Reading is one thing.

Doing is another.

On a happier note, next week's column will be all about celebrating the autumnal equinox naked.