Gene Simmons and Dave?

By Alex Wendt

A lot of you have written me over the past couple of weeks. I was going to address your emails here. Unfortunately, my email program (which I will not mention the maker of, NO, not Microsoft) has completely and totally bought the farm. So I have no emails to reference. Nevertheless, lack of email has never stopped me from talking (or typing), so we'll just have to make the most of it. Huzzah to lame email programs.

Big things going on in the magical world of the Dave Matthews Band, which is nice, since not a damn thing was transgressing previously. Once again, the posts are flying fast and furious on the Nancies mailing list, and of course, lots of questions to be answered.

First and foremost, the new album. "Live At The Garden State". Forgive my ignorance, I have no clue which state is the Garden State. I know New York was the Empire State, and they changed that to either the Highly-Taxed State or the Streisand State, I forget which. Regardless, a new album is getting me rather stoked, and it means I'll be shelling out my dinero for this little gem.

I wonder how they decide which show to put to CD and sell. You too? In all seriousness, I wonder if it's management or the band members themselves. It'd be nice if other bands released CDs like this. I'd rather see bands release live concerts than throw together poorly-made releases; let's be honest, that New Kids Christmas CD was NOT all it could have been.

Speaking of Christmas, I can imagine the looks on the little ones' faces when the official DMB site lit up with a cheery glow of HTML proclaiming those new tourdates. This prompted a few instant responses: posts for meetings, anti-Ticketmaster sentiment (as usual), and hey-how-can-we-get-front-row-seats-with-the-least-modicum-of-effort questions.

A little Q & A:

1. Shep, are you going to any shows?

No, not until Dave and Tim tour.

2. Can we get front-row seats through you?

Are you out of your mind? (This was asked to me already, I'm not making that one up.) Folks, if I could EVER ONCE get my hands on a front-row seat...I can't even finish that statement. It'll never happen.

3. Do you really like to eat that beef jerky / kippered beefsteak / SlimJim stuff?

All the time. Puts hair on your chest. Grandma told me that.

So let's get back to better content before you click back over to that porn site you were just at. I have a couple of questions for you all, since there are more of you then there are of me.

For the longest time, I've wanted to get a stereo system. Lately, I've been looking through the Crutchfield and Damark catalogs, going to websites, visiting stores...I wanted to get (originally) just a CD player and receiver. (And speakers; shut up already.) But the more I think about it, the more I'm considering a cassette deck for taping and trades. Any ideas? Email them to me privately, please.

The second question is a little different, sort of. David Monsour (off of Nancies) and I were discussing guitars a while back. For those of you who finally picked up a guitar and started strumming, what brought you to it? I mean, you had to actually (a) get the guitar, (b) practice like hell, and (c) get all the DMB tablature you could. I want to know what brought it on, and what guitars you think are decent models. Yes, I am looking at buying one in the near future. You thought I'd let Bobo walk around and be the human jukebox? (Inside joke for those of you not on the mailing list; sorry.)

Okay, I think I've covered everything prevalent on my mind, either music-related or DMB-related. Get set for that November release, get your tickets, since a lot of them go on sale October 3rd, and have fun this fall. Be safe. Be better role models of fans than those dipshits on the lawn throwing their shoes at the Jumbotron screens.