Shep In Canada

By Ryan "Shep" Shepard

Well, I got up to Canada last Sunday, and it's definitely as much fun as I thought it was going to be. I got held up in Immigrations for a little bit. My mom thinks it's because my goatee makes me look "sketchy". She gets no souvenirs.

Multiple thoughts have been coursing through my mind like whiskey through an Irishman (shut up, I'm Irish too) so without further adieu, my head laid open.

MONICA AND BILL, MY SOLUTION.

Okay. We've got that whole "federal debt" to deal with. Yes, Clinton lowered it, but still, it could be lower. Here's my thought. Instead of getting impeached, the government has Clinton write a tell-all novel for the supermarket checkout stands. All proceeds go towards lowering the government. I can't believe they thought they'd make money off the Starr Report. Who wants to read that? The NYC Nynex phone book is skinnier than that thing, and probably more interesting...except for the cigar story.

MY GUITAR, PART II.

You may recall from an earlier column that I was picking your brains for info on what guitar you own, and what got you started. Well, Alex and I were in Halifax, Nova Scotia this weekend, and we went to the Halifax Folklore Centre. After close to a half-hour of deliberation, I am now the proud owner of a Seagull 6-string. It's gorgeous. I love it. There were a couple other models that were tempting, and I did look to see if they had any Takamines (which apparently, a fair number of you own) but I didn't see any. There was a very tempting used Rickenbacher for $499. I went with the Seagull. Made out like a bandit. Bless you, exchange rate.

LINKING TO AMAZON.COM.

I'm not sure which of the admins you should thank for this, but I'm glad they did it. If you're one of those folks who really digs having EVERY SINGLE THING by an artist, this is a great way to go. I'm the same way with DJ Shadow...although DMB seems to release a lot more.

DMB IN CANADA.

Well, I've met a couple other Nancies (Anna and Brian, is that with a 'y' or 'i'?) and besides them, Alex, and some others, you don't hear or see an awful lot of promotion for the DMB. Apparently they've only been interviewed twice on MuchMusic (which, if they purchased better cameras for filming, would kick MTV's ass) and they don't get mentioned that much otherwise. I'm thinking Canada would be a country they'd want to concentrate more on as far as touring goes, and THEN go attack Europe. It'd be like playing Stratego or one of those games. You know what I mean. Take over the countries immediately to the right and left of you, and THEN go overseas. It just makes sense.

I'm wondering who creates the tour schedules for DMB...is it Red Light? Or do the band members have a major say? Because you'd think with Montreal being "...one of their favourite places to play" (check this, actual fact, I kid you not) that they'd want to stay around the area more, build up a bigger base. And mainly, most bands from the states don't even play the Maritimes area of Canada. (Read "Maritimes" as "really far west of Maine" for those of you not familiar. Or East. Sorry.) It's like moving a McDonald's into an area with no fast food. You're guaranteed SOME business. Then those McNuggets are going to catch on. DDTW is YOUR MCNUGGET, BABY! GO SELL IT!

MISCELLANEOUS:

Paula Jones' nosejob just looks silly. She's still nasty. Donair sauce. I'm still iffy on this stuff.

THINGS TO CHECK OUT, IF YOU CAN.

Bruce McCullough, "Shame Based Man". Denis Leary, "Lock N Load". Philosopher Kings, "Famous, Rich and Beautiful".

Hope your Halloweens were great. Let's pray for major snowfalls in Virginia so Pace won't need a car, he'll need a sled.